Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Glorious Invention Of: The Air Vent

Air Vents. Ahh what a wonderful and useful invention indeed. Keeps ya cool on hot summer days and warms your butt up after walking 10 miles uphill in the snow.

Although air vents are quite a random topic of conversation, I wrote a song about my love for air vents. Eh not really. My friend Casey told me to write a "song" about the first thing I saw. I looked to my left and there it was, chillin on the ground in my bedroom: an Air Vent. The song is accurately pointless so in other words, its the best thing I've ever written. Kinda.

The Air Vent Song

By Tayler Leigh

A unique invention you are indeed
You blow out your air at lightning speed
Your metal slots and a turning wheel
Adjusts the amount of air I feel

You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air Vent
You propel your air as I pay each month's rent
You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air Vent
Blowing air is pretty much your extent

Life as an air vent must be pretty bland
You can’t even dance or take me by the hand
But that’s all okay because that’s your life
And you’ve accepted you’ll never have a wife

Unless you count that time on the street
When Marilyn Monroe and you did meet
You blew your air and with great success
And that gust of air blew up her dress
She wasn’t embarrassed, she didn’t quite mind
Because she knew that all air vents are blind

You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air VentIf you could speak you’d have a French accent
You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air Vent
Blowing air all day is how your life is spent

In those cold winter months you provide me with heat
If I stand on you, you gladly warm my feet
But on hot summer days when I’m in need of cool air
I walk inside the house and I know you’ll always be there

Since you are an air vent there is not much to say
If you are blowing in my eyes, I can turn you away
If my car smells bad, I can put an air freshener in you
And you can surround me with air and the smell of cool morning dew

You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air Vent
You would never breach our trust with fraudulent intent
You are an Air Vent, Air Vent, Air Vent
The invention of you was a legendary event

You are the air conditioner to my medical practitioner...
And the warmth of heat to my heart beat...

Some people don’t acknowledge
Especially in college
The great importance to us that you are...

When a person’s hot and sweaty
Out in the Serengeti,
Or freezing in the snow
When it is 10 below...

You always do present
The reason for your invent
The nice refreshing breeze from you
Mr. Air Vent

Wow. I must admit, this is the most amazing song ever written in the entire universe. If you want to buy this song from me, you can't. I will only sell the rights to this song to some person. If you can guess who it is, you win nothing. Get off me.


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