We Haven't Talked In So Long... Because I Did You Wrong

So I woke up bright and early this morning with the above song stuck in my head. This song was not stuck in my head for one hour, we're going on 7 hours now. I would like to thank Stefan Abingdon for causing this pain. Atleast I enjoy the song.
Last night I went on a "date." I didn't consider it a date, but my roommates did. His name was Joe, I met him the other night when I went out with roommate Jeff and his friends. I went over to his house (which by the way is absolutely disgustingly dirty it pained me to sit down) and we chilled and had a couple of beers.
First things first, this kid is "different." Not in a bad way, hes just "special" as Jeff called him. Joe and his roommates do not own a TV, so that made it awkward since we pretty much were forced into talking and listening to the Grateful Dead for 2 hours. I was not interesed in Joe really, but I was being nice so I hung out with him. After a while of nonsense talking, out of NO WHERE, Joe decides to say,

"I'm really attracted to you, do you want to take this to the bedroom."

UM. WHAT?! What does one do in this situation? I'll tell you what I did, I laughed. Really fucking hard. Because 1- AWKWAAAARD and 2- funniest thing ever in life. Of course I had to inform him that he just made things really awkward and I had to try to give him a semi normal answer that didn't crush his little heart. I told him since we just met lets get to know eachother a little bit and then take it from there. I feel as though that was a legit and normal response to his graceless comment. He then felt it necessary to tell me that the other night when we first met, "just talking to me turned him on and he wanted to get freaky with me but Jeff came back and ruined everything for him." At that moment I was done. The laughter was non stop. Now the laughter turned into a "awkward situation laugh." I quickly finished my beer and left his house, and immediately called my friend Casey dying of laughter and told her the story.
She said this was the story of my life. I concur.

When I got home, I informed my roommates of the craziness that occurred so we opened up a bottle of wine... or 7... literally. After a night of drinking and eating Michelle's delicious dinner that she cooked for us, our conversation some how evolved into a bet. This bet is called the Sex Off. The first rule of Sex Off is you don't talk about Sex Off. (Fight Club reference anyone... anyone?) This Sex Off is for me and Jeff and pretty much the bet is to see who can get laid more within a one month time period.
Of course there are rules for this Sex Off:
1.) (Like I said) The first rule of Sex Off is you don't talk about Sex Off
2.) The hook up must be verified by a 3rd party, whether it's a picture or... other verification.
3.) The person must be a contact after April 20th, in other words, they have to be complete strangers to make it fair.
4.) Cougars Count.
5.) They must be legal (Jeff put this one up there for me because he said we have teenaged neighbors and they are off limits... and they can't be illegal immigrants from Mexico)
6.) Bet ends May 20th.
7.) Loser streaks up and down our street.

Everyone seems to think that I will win this bet being that I am of the Female gender. I disagree with all of them. I don't normally find guys at bars and go home with them in the same night. Guess I'm gonna have to change my ways to win this competition. I have a few tricks up my sleeve to help my numbers ;)